There are two kinds of mellophone: the mellophone and the mellophonium. The mellophone was made by God and given to the ninjas. BUT the mellophonium was made by God’s evil twin Hades and give to the Mayans to help predict the future in 1184 B.C. The Mayans didnt know what they had coming. Hades gave it to them as a trap to scare God into giving him the design to the mellophone. When the Mayans found out, they were all killed by ogres that had erectile dysfuction and couldn’t mate at the right time and the Mayans seemed like the best choice to have fucked up kids. And after these Ogre-human babies were born, the Mayan mothers started to die off. That’s very lucky of them.