A Brief History of the Mellophone

The mellophone was invented in 1247 BC by Chuck Testa and given to pirates. They used it to slaughter twenty-seven headed dragons of north Italia. Once the pirates learned how to make the instrument sound pretty, they let the technology into the hands of the regular human population. The events of all these people dying was covered up by the Black Plague, but in fact, mellophones’ awesomeness actually burnt out the souls of anyone who heard it. Normal people eventually gained control over the divine music maker, but the life spans of people who could not play correctly were severely reduced. The effect has gone away today. It is true that all brass instruments, save for the trombone, are derived from the mellophone. The flute is derived from a mellophone with Down Syndrome and no sound producing capabilities.

  1. fuckyeahmellophone reblogged this from paranoid-android92
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  5. eyeplayband reblogged this from amanderegg and added:
    Nope, just Chuck Testa…
  6. readysetbreathe reblogged this from paranoid-android92
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  8. dorky-dani reblogged this from amanderegg and added:
    Jordan…
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  10. latrompa reblogged this from amanderegg and added:
    LOL chuck testa
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  15. pappasaur reblogged this from paranoid-android92 and added:
    I almost thought this was going to be for real… then I saw “Chuck Testa” xD
  16. paranoid-android92 posted this